It's A Miracle! Almost 35 Years!

Who would of thought two teenage kids getting married in 1972 with a baby on the way would celebrate a 35th wedding anniversary? Probably not very many!

Yup,it will be 35 years on January 14,2007! We're going to a resort on St. Thomas to celebrate. I've never been. As a matter of fact I'm just getting started on all of that traveling we've put off all of those early and middle years.

In the last 3 years we've been making up for lost time. I don't plan to slow down anytime soon.

Anyway I feel I'm qualified as an expert in marriage and relationships to give you:

Top 10 ways to keep on growing as a couple

1. Commit and participate in connecting with your heart. Do you know what is in your partner's heart today? Do you know if he or she is happy, worried, joyful or fearful? Establish a routine of heartfelt sharing. Sit facing each other. First one shares and the other listens. No comments, no fixing, just listening, no opinions. Then the other person shares and one listens. Don't hold back, you will establish or increase intimacy.

2. Cherish one another. Be kind, courteous and refuse to take each other for granted.
Pay attention to each other! Love each other too much to get into petty arguments!

3. Tell the truth! Never lie or never hold things back. Love is based on honesty. You may feel like you're getting away with something when you do. You are not! Your fooling yourself. Love is based on being real. Real doesn't feel comfortable all of the time. Get real anyway. Love is based on trust. Once trust is lost it's very difficult to get back.

4. Love begins with you. One moment at a time. Choose to love first. Don't hold back or get even. Put the focus on weather or not your lover's needs are getting met. The amazing thing is your's will get met in return. You will also feel loved.

5. Choose to be first. The first to apologize, the first to kiss, the first to hug.
Be the first to give comfort and offer help. Give up the last cookie and give away the last word. You will "feel" loving and lovable. There will be no need to demand it.

6. Love with your eyes. Practice looking at your mate as you did when you first met. Look for the good in his/her heart and actions. Adore him/her with your eyes. When you are gazing and looking think of all of the good times and fun you've had. You can look into each others eyes but also learn to look from a distance, unnoticed.
You will fall deeper in love.

7. Love with your voice and your words. Pay attention to your intention and your tone when you communicate. Do you want to fight or get your point across seamlessly. You can't take works back so choose them carefully.

Learn to build each other up with your words. Use terms of endearment. If it's uncomfortable for you, practice, practice practice. Your words have power. Use them wisely. Use them lightly and lovingly.

8. Learn how to work and play together. When you love somebody you are in sync with them. Refuse to be a victim (poor me) or feel entitled (you owe me). Don't wait to be rescued and give up blaming. When you can enjoy working and playing together you enjoy each other's company most of the time.

9. Take responsibility. There will be days you have to give 150%. There will be days when tragedy happens and you will need to be strong when it seems utterly impossible to do so.

There will be times you will need to ask for forgiveness and time when you have to forgive when you don't want to.

There will be days when you need to be alone and days when your partner will need the same thing. Respect and trust each other's time and breathing space. You will come back refreshed and you will benefit.

10. When you make love learn to put your body, mind, heart and soul into it. Sex is more than just physical. Pay attention to how you feel. Making love feels joyful not empty. Learn to communicate your sexual needs and desires. Learn to use reverance and sex becomes sacred.

Each step you take in your dance together you will either be moving closer to your partner or further away. Be aware of your choices. Be aware of your heart. Stay connected, stay hopeful and