Flying By The Seat Of My Soul

Make Your Good Life Better

2008-04-13T09:41:00.000-07:00

25 Self Honoring Things To Do For Myself

If someone is in a serious accident, our first question is, "Will he be able to walk?" And yet most of us who can walk just fine do it as little as possible.
-Victoria Moran

Self-honoring is doing things for yourself that make you feel better. Therefore your life will be better. Women are good at nurturing others and often neglect or self-abuse themselves.

When was the last time you did something that was self-honoring? If you want to make your good life better make a list of 25 things you can do to honor yourself. Then put them in you schedule as an important appointment. Continue your list until it reaches 100.

You might even think this is overindulgence. It's not. Overindulgence is too much of a good think. Self-honoring is respecting yourself. Abuse is neglecting to take good care of yourself.

1. Take a walk.
2. Eat right.
3. Get a massage.
4. Keep a journal.
5. Create rituals.
6. Garden.
7. Try yoga or dance class.
8. Visit the zoo. (alone!)
9. Give or get manicures and pedicures.
10. Buy fresh flowers every Friday. A single gerbera daisy will do.
11. Stick to your budget.
12. Go to a concert.
13. Buy one expensive piece of chocolate.
14. Take a long bubble bath.
15. Wear a new color lipstick.
16. Drink plenty of water.
17. Phone a friend you haven't talked to for a long time.
18. Walk your talk.
19. Keep your car clean.
20. Declutter.
21. Wear a different perfume.
22. Help someone today.
23. Go one day without carrying your cell phone.
24. Forgive someone.
25. Smile when you talk.

So go ahead and make your good life better. You will feel differently. People will notice. You will be happier.

I am in the process of changing software. If you want to continue getting Tess'Happiness Tips please opt-in again when you get an email telling you to do so!
Stay Happy. Tess Marshall
If you need a coach I'm available, my number is 616-460-6729.
If you need a speaker go to www.TessMarshall.com
If you love silver go to www.mysilpada.com/tess.marshall

7 Principles For An Extraordinary life.

2008-03-28T14:49:00.001-07:00

blessing of nature
Originally uploaded by ichiro kishimi

Happy Sring!

Change is in the air!

Spring changes everything...are you ready to make changes as well?

I have been reading "Mastering the Seven Decisions by Andy Andrews.
(Yes someone named their son Andrew Andrews)!

Andy Andrews is a master storyteller and life traveler. He has sought out what separates an ordinary life from the extraordinary. During a difficult time in his past he read between two and three hundred biographies of happy, successful, influential people who changed the world.

Andy discovered 7 Principles that anyone can apply to live an extraordinary life.

The Seven Decisions

1. The Responsible Decision
I will take 100% responsibility for my life. No more blaming and complaining. I am where I am because I put myself here. My past doesn't determine my future.

2. The Guided Decision
I will seek wisdom through books, people and service. Be a continuous learner in life.

3. The Active Decision
I am a person of action. If you want to get where you are going take continuous action. Be willing to make mistakes. Learn from them and continue taking action.
Be brave. Be bold.

4. The Certain Decision
I am passionate about my vision for my future. I pay no attention to criticism, condemnation and complaining. I pursue my passion. I have a decided heart.

5. The Joyful Decision
I make a choice to be happy. My life circumstances do not have the power to make me unhappy. I choose unhappiness. I can choose again.

6. The Compassion Decision
I am willing to forgive. I set my heart, mind and spirit free.

7. The Persistent Decision
I will not give up. Faith has no limits. Tomorrow is only limited by my doubt. Persist without exception.

Andy tells the story of Jimmy Dean. Jimmy says, "being knocked down is part of life--getting up is also a part of life. I have no use for people who cannot bounce back from a temporary setback.

Jimmy speaks of his grandfather, W.J. Taylor, " My grandfather was the most successful and wealthy man I ever knew, and I doubt seriously that he ever made more than $10,000 in any given year. But he was the best farmer in Hale County, Texas. he knew that. He had the straightest fences, the cleanest end-rows. he had the neatest barn and the neatest house. he raised nine kids. He had a great relationship with the man upstairs and a wonderful inner peace. To me, this is success and wealth.

I love the "wonderful inner peace" idea. Think about when you give away your peace of mind? Do you give away your inner peace when you think about the price of gas, the President or presidential candidates, rude people, you boss or co-workers?

Andy Andrews book is refreshing. Andy promises your life will be full of miracles if you practice these principles. I believe him!

Order his book today at www.Amazon.com you will be happy you did. Take out your journal and write down answers to his questions. Continue to make 2008 the best year of your life.
Stay Happy!
Tess Marshall
616-460-6729
www.TessMarshall.com
www.mysilpada.com/tess.marshall

How To Stay Sane In A Crazy World!

2008-02-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

"Can it be that the penchant for violence is so deeplyembedded in our genetic heritage that we can't stop it? Of course not." -Dianne Morgan

No matter what is going on in the world, the elections, or the war it's our job to continue to fill our personal world with love, joy and hope.

Rev. Margaret Stortz, a minister in California says,"It's up to us to to be as valuable as possible to life.

Ernest Holmes message in a lecture in 1953 was, "Let us love one another; let us love the world. Let us serve simply anddeeply, leaving the shout and the tumult to others."

I think this is still a great idea 55 years later. But how? Personally one of the methods I use is affirmations. I write them on index cards with bright magic markers.

I refer to them often. On low days...quite often.

I encourage you to make your own. You can also put them in your journal or on post it notes on a mirror, on your desk or where ever...

Some of my current favorites are:

"I get up each morning expecting good things to happen."

"I may have heard no 1000 times. I ask again."

"I have joyous appreciation."

"I embrace the place I am today. God is in control."

"No big deal. I'm going to let it go."

"I am full of potential."

"I take action in joy."

"I miss 100% of the shots I never take."

"Most things aren't as serious as I make them out to be."

"I recognize what's happening and I choose to change."

"I nurture my mind, body and soul."

"This too shall pass. It always has and always will."

Go ahead and change your life by changing your thoughts. You owe it to yourself and the world needs you!

If you need help following your life's plan for 2008 I'm available for coaching. Call me at 616-460-6729.

Stay Happy!
Tess Marshall
http://www.tessmarshall.com/

2008 Make it your best year yet!

2008-01-02T09:42:00.000-08:00

Why coaching for 2008?

As your life coach I can provide you with the support you need to take you from where you are to where you want to be.

Would you be willing to do whatever it takes to create the life you want, even if it meant doing things differently than you're doing now? If you answered yes let's talk about coaching…

Coaching is easy, convenient and confidential.

Benefits of working with a Coach:
Increased Confidence
Self-Acceptance & Awareness
A Clear Vision
Ability to Focus
Healthy Relationships
Balance & Energy
Support & Guidance and Accountability &

Your best year yet!

What I do: As your coach, I will help you to step out of your comfort zone. I will offer you helpful tools and techniques for facilitating change and incorporating new skills into your life.
I will be your biggest fan!

My intention is for you to see yourself as limitless with the ability to bring into your life your greatest desires. Let's close the gap between where you are now and where you want to be.

Think of me as your wise confidant.

I would love to work with you, hear more about you, your dreams and your desires for 2008. I listen with compassion and without judgment!

Payment: We meet on the phone for 30 minutes each week. My fee is $25 per 30 minute phone session. Payment is made prior to the first in a series of four half-hour appointments by credit card, check or Paypal.

Still not convinced? Call me for a complimentary 20 minute session. Let me know a couple of dates and times you are available. During the call you can tell me what you'd need to focus on to make 2008 the best!

You will get a feel for my style, who I am and if we are a good fit.
Call Tess at (616) 460-6729 or Email: TessMarshall@TessMarshall.com

Due to my busy schedule I reserve only two days per week for coaching. If these two days are full you will be put on a waiting list. Call today!

Give it all you've got!

2007-12-05T06:19:00.000-08:00

"No one has ever become poor by giving." Anne Fraink, diarist, 1828-1945

Photo taken while volunteering in Mississippi

Marian Morissey says there are 3 levels of giving:

1. Give to get. This type of giving is 50/50. If I give you a Christmas present you better give me one. It better be equal in cost as well. Giving to get is spiritual immaturity. You cheat yourself.

2. Give with strings attached. This is about judgement. Who is worthy of my gift? Ask yourself, "Am I giving to impress?" Do you find yourself saying, "He or she doesn't deserve it?"

3. Give to live. This is the highest form of giving. Giving is joyful. My mother is a joyful giver.
Give service. Give random acts of kindness. Give to your favorite chairity. Give your energy.

Become a joyful giver. Give the benefit of the doubt. Give praise. Give without keeping score. Give to those who won't or can't give back. Give with a heart filled with love for the receiver.

Quotes on giving:
"Think of giving no as a duty but as a privilege." John D. Rockefeller Jr. (philanthropist)

"Giving presents is a talent: to know what a person wants, to know when and how to get it, to give it lovingly and well." Pamela Glenconner, (writer)

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." Winston Churchhill

"You're a happy fellow, for you'll give happiness and joy to many other people. There is nothing better or greater than that." Ludwig van Beethoven

"Scatter joy." Ralph Waldo Emerson

It will come back to you and you'll sparkle!
May all your holidays be merry. Shine on!

Tess Marshall
http://www.tessmarshall.com/
www.mysilpada.com/tess.marshall

Uncommon Gratitude

2007-11-19T19:22:00.000-08:00

"I am grateful for sisters!" Cher,Tess & Roe, Ann Arbor Art Fair!

Whatever trouble or problems you are experiencing today know that you will find solutions. You will survive. You have solved problems in the past and by using your gifts, your talents, wisdom and help from those you trust. You will continue to do the same in the future.

Aren't you ssssoooo grateful for that?

Be grateful for the people you depend on to help you solve your problems.

Be thankful for your problems. They help you to grow, trust, reach out and become a better person.

Become thankful for the opportunity to reinvent yourself. If something no longer works in your life you have the freedom to do something different.

Appreicate the availability of gasoline even though it's not the price you want it to be.

Be thankful for difficult people. They give you an opportunity to rise higher.

Be thankful for the elderly population. They have paved the road for you. Because of them your life is easier.

Be thankful for yourself and all you have done for others. The world wouldn't be the same without you.

Become grateful for all the love in your life and the opportunity to share it with others.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good Idea from my friend Laurie Nuyens:

When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following:
A Recovering American soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20307-5001

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Go here to see "do" the gratitude dance!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9z2ELaBVJY

Happy Thanksgiving to All!

Tess Marshall

http://www.tessmarshall.com/

www.mysilpada.com/tess.marshall

2007-11-06T15:34:00.000-08:00

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." -Ghandi

The economy is scary, the war is heating up and many people are depressed. It's easy to focus on the negative. It's easy to whine and complain that life's not fair.

It's easy to point a finger and blame others. And I believe that at times everyone does some of these things and that's human.

I believe the answers to our personal problems and worldly problems all come from within ourselves. There are things each and everyone of us can do. The question is are we willing to do our part?

Everyone is likely to be involved in a personal war with someone and everyone would like a better income less stress and more happiness.

The following is a quiz to evaluate how you are "being & doing" in the world. The personal changes you make within yourself effect everyone. When you are tempted to believe there is no hope for yourself or your world I suggest you make one tiny change. It will have a ripple effect.

*You can refrain from complaining most of the time

*Refuse to condemn or criticize

*Let go and let God...for the next 24 hours

*Be happy for the success of others

*Do something creative and relax

*Grieve your losses and move on

*Choose to have inner peace

*Forgive someone today

*Leave someone a generous tip

*Pray

*See the good in others and ignore their flaws

*Go out of your way to help one person today

We have the power to make the world a better place at least for the people around us.

This will have a ripple effect that will touch the lives of people we will never know.

Don't ever give up hope and have faith!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I still have a couple of dates open if anyone is interested in having a Silpada

( silver jewelry) "Girls Night Out." You can earn free jewlery for the holidays!

Or...
Are you looking for a unique fundraising idea to earn cash for your child's team?

How about your child's school?

Your favorite Charity or your church?

Rather than ask for a cash donation, consider hostessing a Silpada Show or doing a Book Show.

You can earn Cash instead of Free Jewelry!

Click on the link below for more information

I will be in MI from Thanksgiving Day through the fourth of December.

Call me 616-460-6729 or email me for more information at TessMarshall@TessMarshall.com

Lighten Your Load With Gratitude!

2007-10-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

"It is easier traveling the road of life when I don't have so much to carry on my back."

During the process of moving into our new (much smaller) home we have let go of 1/3-1/2 of our belongings including furniture, clothing and books. I thought I was finished but yesterday while unpacking the last of the boxes I gave away even more. There just isn't any room for it.

Besides the physical the other thing we often carry on our backs is emotional baggage.

Some examples of emotional baggage:

The pain of the past. We often play the same senarios in our mind over and over again. For example, when somebody hurt me, when I failed, when I made a mistake, when I didn't get something I deserved, etc.

Anger. Anger and resentment are poisonous. They have a negative effect on our emotional, spiritual and physical makeup.

Worry. In every moment there is a place where events have already happened and a place where things are about to happen. Inbetween is the present moment. When you are living in the present worry is impossible.

Fear. Name your fears. Are they valid or irrational? If they are valid fears make a plan to get through them. For example instead of worrying about money either spend less or make more.

If you plan your future you don't have to fear it.

Unforgiveness. The inability to forgive is the biggest energy zapper of all. It will literally wear you down. Who do you need to forgive? What's holding you back?

Often times it is ourself we are the most hard on. What do you beat yourself up about? Stop! Let it go. Relax.

I found a message in an old notebook and it said, "Everyday count the ways God blesses you."

It sounds too simple. Our ego wants a bigger challenge. It is simple, it's not easy to be completely aware of your blessings everyday.

So go ahead and make a concious effort for the next two days. You will be richer and greater because you will realize, "I am blessed."

May your heart explode with gratitude!

Tess Marshall

www.TessMarshall.com

Please forward this to others you think would appreciate it!

How I plan to change the world!

2007-10-09T10:34:00.001-07:00

Love, Love, Love Arizona

2007-09-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

Dreams really do come true! Moving from Michigan to Arizona has been in our plan for the last 20 years. We are in our new home, the sun is shining and all is well!

When we arrived there was a big rainbow in the sky as we pulled into our driveway! I took that as a "welcoming sign."

What do you dream about?

No dream is less important than anther. You may want a different job, a new relationship, money to invest or to become a new mom.

Whatever it is know that it was planted in your heart by God. You won't be happy until you act on it. Small steps, even baby steps are better than no steps at all!

I want to share with you a few tips on how you can make your dreams come true as well.

1) Never give up. We first planned to leave when our four daughters were out of high school. Then it was "when they're out of college." Then we became grandparents. But we never let go of the dream. So "keep on keeping on." You will know when the time is right.

2) Take action. We bought a home 4 years ago in Queen Creek. Our "leap of faith" plan was to find renters to occupy it until we were ready to move in. Our tenants turned out to be wonderful people. We then set the date for selling our MI. home and cottage. We began talking about the move to everyone who would listen.

3) Commit. We chose the moving date two years ago. The same week my husband, Roger, who owned his own accounting business received a post card from a broker offering to sell his business. Serendipity! Six months later the business sold! When you commit to your dreams magic happens.

4) Visualize. I visited the South West several times. I knew the culture, the weather, the people. I had a "red rock" from Sedona and put it on my windowsill. I had a poster from the Georgia O'Keefe museum framed. I visited Frank Lloyd Wrights home. I had visual reminders everywhere. I never let go of visualizing permanent sunshine.

5) Believe! Don't wait until everything falls into place! We knew we were moving September 9th. Our house sold prior to the move our cottage did not. Roger didn't have a job although he flew out twice for several interviews. We were leaving anyway. The night before we moved the phone rang, he had a job offer and accepted it. Again serendipity!

6) Help others with their dreams! The fastest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. I began a group for women who wanted to realize their dreams 12 years ago. We met every Sunday evening for 6 months. Everyone left the group with their plan in place. Today I teach clients how to get from where they are to where they want to be.

7) Be grateful! Thank God everyday for your dreams. Ask for guidance on how to fulfill them.

I learned years ago to be thankful and grateful in advance. It's a powerful way to be in life!

PS The sculpture you see is in Scottsdale, AZ.

PSS If you have a dream you would like to see materialize and need help from a coach give me a call at 616-460-6729. If you are interested in being part of a "Dreams Really Do Come True"

online group email me at TessMarshall@TessMarshall.com.

http://www.tessmarshall.com/

Facing Fears...Challenged by a 10 Year Old!

2007-09-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

"Face your fears, Nana!" -AJ Brockman

The most difficult people to leave behind in Michigan are my two grandchildren. We made sure we spent weeks with them this summer!

One of my goals was to get them into swimming lessons! I never had swimming lessons as a kid. We learned to swim on our own in the pond on the farm. When I was about 12 years old my siblings and I were at thepond with my dad. He challenged us to race to the other side of the pond. First one there would win five bucks.

I took off dog paddling and never looked back. I swam through the weeds and never gave a thought to the snapping turtle and water snakes that lurked below. I wanted that five dollars and I won that five dollars!

In the summer of 1969 I witnessed my sister's boyfriend drown and have pretty much stayed clear of water ever since. Of course my non-love of swimming and water impacted my daughter Shelly. Consequently my grandchildren AJ and Mackenzie, never finished formal swimming lessons.

They stayed with us for two weeks in July and took lessons at the pool at Orchard Hills. There were 5 people in their class--the other three kids were all five years old!

On the first day Mackenzie was frightened but "Ready!" I said your, "Hungry to learn aren't you?"She replied, "No nana, I'm not hungry...I'm starving!" Learn they did. It was pure joy and bliss to watch them transform into swimmers.

This past Sunday we were at a Labor Day Picnic at an outdoor pool with a huge water slide. I found the perfect lounge chair and settled in with a favorite book. A couple of hours later while eating snacks AJ asked why I wasn't swimming or enjoying the water slide. Ummmm...I dont' want to do it...I muttered. He came back with "Nana, face your fears!"

Busted! I knew the only way out was through. I went down the water slide 4 times and finished doing laps with Kenzie in the olympic size pool.

Moral of story: Face your fears. The only way out is through them. How about you? What fears do you need to face? What's stopping you? How would your life be different if you found a way through?

Let me know your challenge and commitment. I will post the results!

If you need help, a cheerleader or a coach check out the "life coaching" info on my website. If you or someone you know needs a speaker I also have a video clip on mywebsite at http://www.tessmarshall.com/

Stay happy!

Tess Marshall

email TessMarshall@TessMarshall.com

http://www.tessmarshall.com/

call 616-460-6729

How To Sell Your Home Even In Michigan!

2007-08-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

1. Get a kick-butt realtor! We heard Katie-K in EGR was the best. Still we interviewed two others as well.
Katie stood out because of her Internet Marketing skills.
She is also brilliant and fun. In this economy that's exactly what we needed.

Katie's known for selling the biggest and the best. I decided to make myself and our home memorable in her mind so I gave her an autographed copy of my book. She read it, loved it and sent it to a friend. Mission accomplished.

2. Contact your realtor each week. I used to say, "Hi Katie, this is Tess just checking in. Anything new?"

3. Listen.The first thing she told us was our price was to high. We lowered it. "Ouch!" We lowered it again later. "Ouch, Ouch!"
My cousin who is also a realtor told me in two to six months it would be worth even less if it remains unsold. We listened.
Plan B was to rent it out if it didn't sell by September 1.

4. Stage your home. Our home became "spotless" with no repairs needed. You have to be willing to do what it takes. Get rid of clutter. When you think it's gone get rid of more!

5. Pray! We called the prayer line the first of every month. They pray 24/7 for 30 days so we never went uncovered. My devout Catholic mother said two rosaries daily. Roger and I also made it a habit to pray and be happy for others when their homes sold! When we passed a home that had a sold sign I would say, "That's for me." (There's always the temptation of jealousy and the pity pot.) Don't go there.

6. Use affirmations. "My house is sold I just don't know who bought it yet" was my favorite. It's like holding a vision and never "talking doubt." Remember it takes one person. There are 6 and 1/2 billion people in the world. We needed two buyers one for our home and one for our cottage. Remember the right person can call anytime. Life changes in an instant.

7. Stop listening to negativity. We stopped watching the news and stopped reading the newspaper. Who needs to be reminded daily about the economy and the war? Not me. Negative news is depressing. If you think you're going to miss something you're wrong. If something bad happens someone will tell you about it. Otherwise you can say to someone, "What's new today?" They will tell you.

8. Each time we knew someone was coming to look at the house we bought fresh flowers and lit candles. I would pick up while silently repeating my mantra "The buyers are coming! The buyers are coming!" to the tune of "Follow The Yellow Brick Road" from the Wizard of Oz. We also hid laundry, any mail laying around and all kinds of things that shouldn't be seen. (I plan on recovering everything while packing!)

9. We visualized people being happy and smiling when they looked at our home. We prepared like we were being visited by royalty. We also visualized a red and white sold sign. We took a picture of the sign and digitally enhanced it !

10. We buried St. Joseph in our front yard with friends. Now do I think that statue sold our home? No. I do think the prayers we said while standing in a circle holding the hands of several friends helped sell the house.

11. All good energy. We often block our energy by speaking, acting and doing negative things.
If you do this in your home it will be filled with negative energy. Think about the energy you feel when you walk in a nursing home, an angry teenagers bedroom or outside in your garden. There's a big difference! So keep all your energy positive. When people look at your home they can feel and sense energy. Stay happy and positive. Count your blessings. Become grateful in advance that your home will sell.

12. Believe! Put your faith in a miracle. When you become doubtful do something to lift yourself back up. We painted the basement floor and painted the deck just days before our home sold. Keep busy making it the best place on the block. Eventually someone will notice!

My friend Marsha lent me her "Expect A Miracle" sign. We hung it up where we could see it everyday. If all else fails repeat no. 5 and never never give up! There is no problem bigger than God.

Please forward this to anyone you know who needs to sell a home or who is frustrated and losing hope!

Meanwhile...Stay Happy!
Tess Marshall
http://www.tessmarshall.com/

Balance = A Warm Heart and a Genuine Presence

2007-07-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

One of the quickest ways to misery is to constantly seek out new products, experiences, and events. When you do this nothing is ever enough. Satisfaction is foreign and appreciation is forgotten.

Our world is set on fast forward. It seems there are very
few people that aren't in a hurry. Constantly striving, competing and comparing result in exhaustion from never
ending to-do-lists.

One of the keys to happiness is to savor, enjoy and

appreciate what you have in your life. It's necessary

to stay present in the moment and pause between

life events.

How do you know if you have balance in your life?

I know my life is in balance...

When I feel happy in the present moment

When I have time to be kind

When I'm not rushing through yellow lights

When I can go on a vacation and leave my phone in the hotel room

When I exercise regularly and eat healthy

When I take time to relax because it's a beautiful day and life is short

When I feel patient and calm

When I don't have the need to get in someone else's business

When I take the time for important things

I encourage you to make your own list.

My daughter and son-in-law both work full time so we help them

out as much as we possibly can.

Last week we helped my granddaughter paint her bedroom orange.

We straightened out her shelves, organized and helped her "let go" of

toys, clothes and shoes she has outgrown.

Kenzie turned 13 in April. Her bedroom was transformed from a room of

a child into the room of a teen. My grandson who turned 10 wants us to help

him paint his room gray with an English "D" in honor of the Detroit Tigers.

We have 8 weeks before we move to Arizona.

I know my life is in balance because we said, "Yes."

This week catch yourself having thoughts of fear and anxiety.

Look within to see where you can make a change or two.

If life overwhelms you and you feel overworked and stressed

out give me a call. As a life coach I can help you change your

world. Cell 616-460-6729

Because happiness matters!

Tess Marshall

www.TessMarshall.com

Living In An Abundant Universe

2007-06-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

There is a saying,"When life gives you lemons-make lemonade."
Sometimes life doesn't give us lemons we pick our own! We get
stuck, struggle and we can't see the way out.

It's easy to live in fear and doubt these days. The only thing
you have to do to is turn on the news or read a newspaper.

I'm sure you've noticed people who do well in spite of what's going
on around them. So what do they know or do that you don't?

Living An Abundant Life

1. Your energy will attract people, events and circumstances
with the same energy. Do what it takes to stay positive.
Be kind. Look for the good in others and in the world.

Turn off the news and listen to upbeat or calming music.
Do what it takes to keep your energy high and mood positive.
You will attract other positive people, events and circumstances.

2. Catch yourself when you are thinking negative. Catch a higher
vision for yourself and then do what it takes to acheive it.
Make a plan and take action!

3. Expect miracles. Expect things to turn around.
Expect there will be people that will help you.
Stop waiting for the other foot to drop!

4. Trade doubt and fear for faith and love. Live in the present
moment. Take one day at a time. Be a loving person. This is a good
time to work on your character defects.

5. Improve your relationship with God. Spend more time in
prayer. Ask for guidance to do what's necessary to turn
things around. Then again take action!

6. Achieve your dreams by helping others achieve their dreams.
The quickest way to get what you want is to help others
get what they want. Help someone who has less than you.
It will change your perspective.

7. To get more-give more. If you need more money-tithe.
If you want a loving relationship-be more loving. If you need a
friend-be a friend. If the only thing you owned was a loaf of
bread the thing to do would be to share it with someone.

8. Write out your troubles in a journal. It's just one way to
release them. When you're not sitting around feeling sorry
for yourself you become more aware of your gifts and more
invested in using them.

9. You focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop putting others up
and yourself down. We all have more than we need: more food,
more clothes, more electornic devices, etc. So stop whining!

10. Live in a state of gratitude. This is the fastest way to
happiness. Take appreciation walks when you feel like giving up.
On the walks think about what is going "right" in your life.
Learn to "feel" grateful.

I'm looking for 8-10 women who are interested in a 4 day Happiness Retreat
August 26-29th. We will meet at my cottage and spend time creating, learning, sharing, and laughing. Each person will leave with a personal "Happiness Plan." Go to www.TessMarshall.com/retreat.htm if you are interested or email me at TessMarshall@TessMarshall.com with questions. It's a life-altering event!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a scale of 1-10 how happy are you on a day-to-day basis? Are there things you want to change about yourself and life that you continue to put off for another day or time?

If you want to make a change I can help you get from "where you are now" to "where you want to be" as your life coach. If you are interested in life coaching you can call me at 616-460-6729.

God's Healing Love + Faith + Friends = A Miracle

2007-06-05T06:13:00.001-07:00

My friend Sherry needed "a little help from her friends" after hearing bad news from her oncologist a couple of weeks ago. So I asked her if she wanted to have a small gathering at my house prior to her beginning a new round of chemo.

She said that would be great and gave me the names of who she wanted to attend. I also asked about the mood of the party. The answer was she wanted to continue to believe she would be healed from cancer.

So I planned the party to be an upbeat, "expect a miracle party!" We made crowns, and decorated them.

We laughed and talked about vision and faith. We all gave Sherry small gifts she could keep with her. Gifts that would remind her that we loved her and believed in her healing.

My gift to Sherry was a red clown nose. It's been proven that humor heals.

We each wrote her a letter and sealed them in individual envelopes. She has them to open on her low energy days.

Musician Carol Johnson led us in song and we each lit a candle and flooded Sherry with affirmations and love.

The party ended with lady finger cake and strawberries dipped in chocolate. Miracles happen everyday. We will continue to hold the vision of a miracle for Sherry. Won't you please join us?

Grateful,
Tess

Expect A Miracle!

2007-05-25T03:16:00.001-07:00

Miracles
Where do you place your faith? Do you believe in a better world or have you lost all hope? Do you believe in yourself or have you given up on your dreams? Do you believe loving relationships are possible or do you struggle with giving and receiving?

My friend Sherry was diagnosed with cancer last fall. She has been such a trooper with the challenges cancer brings. She even went back to her teaching job full time in January.

Everything was going great until yesterday. Her most recent tests came back positive and now she will begin a new round of chemo...

How does one continue to go on in spite of devastating circumstances? On the cover of "Esquire" magazine a few months ago was a photo of a soilder, Bryon Anderson, that came back from war missing three limbs. I bought that magazine just for that photo. I store it in my gratitude journal and say a prayer for him often. How does a young man with so much life ahead of him cope with such loss?

I believe in miracles. I have learned to expect miracles to happen. How can you not?
Without my faith in miracles I wouldn't know what to do...

Today I found a prayer and if you need a miracle in your life (who doesn't) I suggest you print it off and repeat it regularly:

EXPECT A MIRACLE PRAYER
by Reverend Christopher Ian Chenoweth

"By the grace of God I am what I am, and God's grace toward me has not been in vain."
1 Corinthians 15:10

Speak this aloud, in prayer:

I believe in miracles because I believe in God. God, You are a wonder-working God.
Night and day, You are working behind the scenes to bring about the most wondrous
perfect result. I give thanks that I am a part of your plan of miracles. I pray for a miracle but more importantly, because of my belief in You that never waivers, I expect a miracle.

I give You my life for you to transform it and lengthen it with Your miracle-working power.

Dear God, I give You my body, from the top of my head, to the bottom of my feet, I pray that You will bring Your miracle working power to every cell and atom, every tissue and every fiber. I give You my heart, my lungs, my kidneys, my liver, my stomach, and all the organs of my body for You to perfect with the miracle working power of Your perfect regeneration.

I give You my skeletal system for You to strengthen and empower.

I give You my mind for You to transform every thought into a thought that is founded in doubtless faith and grounded in bottomless strength.

I give You my eyes so that you can transform them from seeing negative energy-zapping events to witnessing the wonder and majesty of all life.

I give You my emotions so that they will no longer be cynical or critical; down or lowly about myself and others. Uplift my emotions with Your miracle-working power.

I give You my energy so that You can add to it with miracle-working power so that I sizzle with energy, zeal and enthusiasm.

I give You all my relationships for You to transform with a miracle
of pure love. I pray that those relationships that are old and worn out are renewed and sustained with Your life-giving power of miracle love.

Dear God, I give You my career and I ask that You touch it and bring to it continuous miracles.

God, I give You my hopes and dreams, my goals and ambitions, I ask You to bring miracles asked for and dreamed for along with the serendipity of the unexpected miracles that will make my life surprising and sweet.

Dear God, I give You my hands. Use them, so that they can produce miracles in other's lives.

Dear God, I give You my feet. Use them to walk towards my miracles or to aid in producing miracles for others.

I expect a miracle and I accept a miracle!

Amen and Choose Happiness!
Tess

Trust that things will work out well!

2007-05-15T10:56:00.001-07:00

Cacti
Originally uploaded by tabletop220.

"Anything is possible when you're willing to trust!"

We've had renters living in our new home in Queen Creek,
Arizona since building it 4 years ago. On a recent trip
my plan was to take a walk through to see if there were
any damages that needed to be repaired prior to my husband
and I moving in this fall.

I couldn't remember what the inside looked like anymore. So I
was excited about getting measurements and a visual picture
so I could begin begin planning and designing the interior of
our new home.

I was shocked to see the damage was very minimal, a chip in
the bathroom sink and a hole in the patio screen door! I was
sooooo elated!

So many people told us we'd be sorry about renting to strangers.
If you know me well you know that I have a great deal of trust
in others. It's the media that would have us believe that
there are few good people in the world.

The best part of seeing our house soon--to be home was the breath
taking view of the back yard...the golf course and the San Tan
Mountains.

Another surprising thing was that all of our plants were alive
including a tree in the back yard that has grown big enough to
provide shade. Yeah!

I'm still trusting...I trust that our home and cottage will sell.
I trust that our transition will go smoothly.
I trust we will find the right work.

In what area do you need to strengthen your trust and faith?

Steps to take to learn to trust.

1)Fast from the news. It's focused on what's wrong with the world

2)Journal about your fear, uncertainty and doubt

3)Learn to go with the flow

4)Let go of the outcome

5)Pray

6)Expect the best!

When you live life being a trustworthy person you will be
able to trust others as well.

Stay Happy!
Tess Marshall

Watch Matt and Put A Smile On Your Face

2007-04-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how fast you can smile if you watch this video.
Stay Happy!
Tess Marshall

A Girl Scout With A Big Dream

2007-01-09T04:41:00.000-08:00

Mackenzie, my granddaughter, is dreaming about going to New York with her Girl Scout Troop. In order to do this she needs to sell 1000 boxes of girl scout cookies!

If you want to support the Girl Scouts’ efforts to gain economic leadership skills and develop self-confidence through the Cookie Sale Program.

There are two ways to help the Girl Scouts help others as well.

1) Donate the cookies you buy to Cleaners Community Food Bank to help families who ordinarily can’t afford treats. Serving hungry people of all ages (more than 40 percent of whom are children) is a challenge, and since the emphasis is on “the basics,” there is little chance to provide dessert.

That will change for spring 2007 when truckloads of Girl Scouts Cookies will be dispatched to Gleaners for distribution to put more smiles on the faces of seniors, children, and people who just need a hand.

2) Operation Troops! Donate the cookies you buy to our troops in Iraq.Imagine tasting a little bit of home in the middle of the dessert!

If you are interested in buying cookies and donating them, the cost is 3.50 per box.

Please call me at 616-460-6729 if you are interested in purchasing cookies for the troops or Gleaners.

This is an opportunity to help the hungry, the troops and Mackenzie!
Stay happy!
Tess

!

Reflect and Move Forward

2007-01-03T07:21:00.000-08:00

The following is from Cheryl Richardson. I believe this is an important exercise to do. Remember two things: Past behavior predicts future behavior. Nothing changes until something changes. Without reflection nothing will change.

Yes I know it's lengthy and I know this will take time but it could have a big impact on your whole year. Also on your entire future.

Dear Friends,
~*~ Topic of the Week - Year-End Ritual ~*~

I can't believe another year has passed. Time becomes more precious the older I get and it feels more important than ever to be living my life in a way that honors my soul. This week, in an effort to help you prepare for a New Year that honors your soul, I'd like to suggest that you take a look back -- look back over the year at how you've grown, what you've accomplished, and what you feel grateful for. Whether you do this ritual with others or by yourself with a journal, the year end is a great time to engage in those activities that prepare you for a fresh start (I'll address a new beginning next week).

Here's a four-step process (you may want to print this out):

1. First, gather together a few things to help you remember what occurred over the last year -- I call them "memory tools." You can use things
like:

Photographs
Old Journal
Palm Pilot (or PDA)
Year-End Calendar
A Friend to Reminisce With

2. Then, write down the following 8 categories:

Personal Growth
Health (Emotional, Physical, Spiritual)
Finances
Relationships
Work/Career
Contributions/Giving
Passion/Interests/Intellectual
Physical Environment

3. Next, using your memory tools as a guide, consider the following questions under each category:

~*~ Personal Growth

How have I grown as a person? Am I more patient, generous, focused, or financially responsible? Have I been able to set (and protect) my boundaries? What fears or challenges have I faced? Am I less tolerant of inappropriate behavior? Am I better able to see the opportunities (or
humor) in difficult situations?

~*~ Health (Emotional, Physical, Spiritual)

How have I taken better care of my body? Have I improved my eating habits, exercised consistently, or finally visited a doctor? What have I done to grow emotionally? Did I work with a therapist? Do I listen to my heart more? Am I better able to eliminate stress? What about my spiritual life? How do I stay connected to Grace, a Higher Power, or the magic of life?

~*~ Finances

How have I improved my financial health? Did I save more, spend less, or reduce my debt? What one step have I taken to better protect myself financially? Did I complete my will, visit with a financial planner, or increase my insurance coverage?

~*~ Relationships

How have I been a better partner, spouse, friend, or co-worker? How have my relationships improved? Have I released a grudge by forgiving myself or someone else? How have I shown my appreciation to others? Have I taken steps that allowed me to feel closer to certain loved ones? Did I set limits with draining people? Do I feel better about the people I surround myself with on a regular basis?

~*~ Work/Career

How has my work life improved? Did I set better boundaries around my personal time, ask for a raise, or find a new job better suited to my needs? Did I finally make a move to change something that had been bothering me at work?

~*~ Contribution/Giving

What have I done to help others improve the quality of their lives? Did I donate my time, energy, talent, or money? Did I give more to others than myself? Does my giving feel balanced?

~*~ Passion/Interests/Intellectual

Do I feel more connected to those things that make me feel passionate?
Have I identified any interests or activities that ignite my passion?
What positive steps have I taken to pursue these interests? What did I do to challenge myself intellectually?

~*~ Physical Environment

How has my environment improved? Have I cleaned up my home or office, challenged myself to throw things out, or added more beauty to my life?
Is my home a more soul-nurturing place to live? Is my office a more productive, efficient, and enjoyable place to work?

Once you've taken the time to consider some or all of these questions, do something to acknowledge your growth and progress. Share your answers with a supportive friend, buy yourself a symbolic gift, or treat yourself to something you've always wanted to do. When you acknowledge your growth, you build self-respect and self-trust -- two key ingredients that will support you in making healthier choices for you and your loved ones from this point on.

4. Gratitude

Finally, what are you grateful for? Who do you feel grateful for? Is there a new friend in your life? Was there someone who encouraged you to follow a dream? Are you enjoying good health, a nourishing marriage, or more space in your schedule? What new changes occurred over the last year that made you feel better about your life? Who or what were involved in those changes? What challenges were you faced with that, although painful at the time, made you stronger or allowed you to express more of who you really are?

When you take the time to give careful thought to how you lived your life last year, you'll find valuable wisdom and insights in your answers. And, as you acknowledge the changes that have occurred, you're bound to feel deeply grateful -- a wonderful way to bring in the New Year. May you enjoy a year end that blesses and honors the amazing man or woman you've become. And may you be ready to welcome in anything and everything that will allow you to fully honor your soul in 2007.

Happy New Year!
Tess Marshall
www.TessMarshall.com

Walking Through Life

2007-01-01T03:59:00.000-08:00

Take A Walk

My friend CJ send me this piece. I hope you discover the same humor and wisdom we found.

Walking Through Life

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing.

My father never drove a car.

Well, that's not quite right.

I should say I never saw him drive a car. He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: "Oh, bull----!" she said. "He hit a horse."

"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that. But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one."

It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown. It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother. So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.) He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning.

If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home. If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine RUNNING so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored." If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream.

As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?" "I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

"No left turns," he said.
"What?" I asked.

"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic. As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."

"What?" I said again. "No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."

"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support. "No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works." But then she added: "Except when your father loses count." I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing. "Loses count?" I asked. "Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights and you're okay again."

I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.

"No," he said. "If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90. She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102. They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.) He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide- ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news. A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."

"You're probably right," I said.

"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated. "Because you're 102 years old," I said. "Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night. He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: "I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet."

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words: "I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have." A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long. I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life.

Or because he quit taking left turns.

Dream Big 2007

2006-12-10T02:54:00.000-08:00

Most of you know that I got married when I was 17 and was the mom to four little girls by the time I was 22 years old.
Living in Michigan in the winter was not fun for me. I felt "stuck inside" for years for many reasons:
We lived in the country and would get "snowed in."
We didn't have extra money to go places and do things.
Bundling up four kids everytime we went somewhere was a lot of work.
Too many gray skies that blended in with the earth.
I could go on but I'm sure you get the picture!

One long-dreary-gray-winter-day I heard on the radio that the sun shines 364 of the year in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I couldn't believe it! I went home and announced to my husband that we were moving there someday. Maybe when the kids got out of high school. By then surely we'd would be free to go.

We kept that dream in the back of our minds for years. I even began talking about it and telling others. It was in "the middle of our winters" that I would talk about it the most.

Well of course we didn't go when the girls were out of high school. Looking back I think I said that because I needed to convince myself that I could make it through all of the ups and downs of parenting if "I had a big sunny dream!"

Then when the twins were both in college, Kristy at the University of Chicago and Kara at DePaul I finally saw a chance to step forward with a plan...

Kara was depressed and was struggling to get through her first semester of college.
Her plan was to drop out. Of course the only thing I could think of that would lift her out of her depression was sunshine and sunny blue skies.

I talked her into looking into New Mexico State University and transferring. She did! I'll never forget the day my daughter Niki and I flew to visit her right after she settled in. We were sitting on the lawn they were mowing in mid-January. I felt like I was sitting on top of the world(or at least on top of my dream)!

The next day we rented a car and the three of us drove all night to Santa Fe. I believe it was a 12 hour trip. My plan was to capture the spirit of the area in order to strengthen my vision when I returned home.

When we arrived it was like standing underneath a blue inverted bowl. In every direction was clear blue sky! The mountains were breathtaking, the stucco homes that jutted out of the mountains were stunning.

I remember breathing it all in, owning it and saying, "This Is For Me! Over the years I visited Kara several times. When she moved back to MI after graduation I continued to visit the South West I went to see the Georgia O'Keefe museum when it opened. I went for any reason I could think of.

At the same time Kara moved back, her twin Kristy landed her first teaching job in Phoenix, Arizona. Again I continued to hold my vision of "some day" and visited the Southwest often.

We never gave up on our dream (my husband Roger adopted it as his dream as well from day one). Buy things shifted. Now it wasn't New Mexico we wanted to live but Arizona. We decided as long as we had kids there it would be silly to move somewhere else.

Now we were empty nesters and we could have moved but didn't. The problem being our oldest daughter was giving birth to our grandchildren and they were too cute and irresitable to leave. At this time some of our friends would tease us and say, "Sure your going to move...

After a few years Kristy decided to leave the teaching field and Arizona and move to Atlana Georgia after breaking up with her boyfriend.

Kara who had been back in MI struggling with what to do with her life after graduating from NM State decided to move to Arizona and teach at the school her twin sister was leaving behind. In fact, Kara moved into the same apartment Kristy was leaving. Twins are like that you know!

Kara loved her new home, her job and fell in love with the guy she would eventually marry. When we went for her engagement party the building boom in the South West was in full swing.

The weekend of the engagement party we took a risk, purchased a lot and had a home built in Queen Creek. Our plan was to get "renters" until we were ready to move.
I'm sure you've heard, "Build it and they will come" from the movie Field of Dreams.
Renters came!

That was nearly 4 years ago. And finally we're going to move! In September 2007 our dream will come true. Our home in East Grand Rapids is for sale well as our cottage at Torch Lake.

If you are interested in an "awesome getaway" go http://www.Marshallrentals.com

If you know anyone who wants to live in a "wonderful neighberhood" call Rhonda at Caldwell Bankers, 459-0400.

So whatever your dream is I want to stess two things
1. It's never too late
2. Build it and they will come!
Stay happy-Tess

The Holidays and Relationships

2006-11-27T05:21:00.000-08:00

Our family often presents us with the most challenges when it comes to relationships. If you have unresolved issues with your family-of-origin, friends or co-workers now is the time to resolve them. You may choose to not have any contact with certain people any more which is OK. What's not OK is if you lose your peace of mind over the thought of them.

Even when you think you have finished the relational work you need to do there will be times you get hooked in again. That's because on some level you may have forgiven someone but your subconcious mind will be holding on to something you may not even be aware of.

It's like an iceburg, what you have forgiven is what you can see above the water. Your subconciouss mind represents what is below the water. When you're feeling resentful issues (below the water)reappear as a reminder to keep forgiving.

One exercise I find helpful is before falling asleep at night I picture each friend or family member I need to forgive. I silently wish them peace and blessings.

If you have a family or company event to attend over the holidays and you know you will be in contact with someone you would rather not be with try this exercise for 10 days. I guarantee that when you get there the grievance will be gone and you will feel at peace.

Remember no one can take your peace from you unless you allow it. Don't give anyone this power over you. You have better things to do with your time and energy.

"Be the peace you want to see in the world." -Ghandi

Fly SouthWest & Meet Kara Martin

2006-11-03T04:52:00.000-08:00

My daughter Kristy's friend James called me yesterday from Atlanta and told me I was behind on my blogging! Imagine someone reading my blog! Because nobody ever leaves comments I never know who if anyone is reading it!

So I thought I'd show off the pictures of Kara's graduation at SouthWest headquarters in Dallas, Texas at Love Field. Kara is the second from the left in this picture. Doesn't she look happy? Do you see her wings on her blue vest?

The guys in this picture and Kara are all based out of Baltimore. Kara is hoping for that to change soon to Pheonix where she lives with her husband Sean. Until then she will travel back and forth on her days off.

Kara's being so far from home is a temporary inconvenience. She wasn't willing to allow that possibility to stop her. That's where courage, commitment and risk taking come in to play. If you want to change your life you have to prepare for the bumps in the road. The benefit is you are no longer stuck and miserable.

I wrote last time about Kara reinventing herself from a teacher to a flight attendant. Often when we are stuck or bored in our work we lack courage to move on.

Those who do move on make it look so easy. Like they have some magic power or something. They don't. They face their fears and move on anyway.

Moving on takes a strong person. A person who moves on is one who wants to "suck the marrow out of life." Moving on means you risk failing and holding your head up high anyway.

A person who moves on asks others to pray. A person who moves on asks family to "hold their vision."

The family holding the vision keeps doubt to themselves. They keep unasked for opinions and advice to themselves as well. The family holding the vision believes in the other persons dreams even when the dreamer has doubts.

There is a sign in Alaska that the highway department put up on a state road. This road is unpaved and just before winter this area gets a lot of rain. So the muddy road freezes over. The sign says,"Choose your rut carefully, you will be in it for the next 50 miles!

So my challenge for you today is to reflect on any rut you may be in. Then tell yourself you don't have to stay in it for 50 miles and move on!

A quote from Kara, "NASA is the only company that is harder to get hired at than Southwest. Last year for flight attendants, Southwest Airlines received 45,112 resumes, conducted 10,795 interviews and hired only 426 new employees! I am very excited to work for such a great company!
See you in the skies!"

When Kara sent in her resume she had no idea if she would be hired. If she knew over 45,000 people were sending in as well my guess is she would have had doubts she would make it. In fact she may have even stopped herself.

Most of the time we can't see the bigger picture in life. This time that was a blessing! Keep believing in yourself and your dreams. Life is too short to be stuck and in a rut! Fly happy and fly high Kara, we love you!

Fly SouthWest & Meet Kara Martin

2006-11-03T04:44:00.000-08:00

2006-10-27T08:22:00.000-07:00

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

Check out this cool video. Happy Friday!
Tess Marshall

It's A Miracle! Almost 35 Years!

2006-10-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

Who would of thought two teenage kids getting married in 1972 with a baby on the way would celebrate a 35th wedding anniversary? Probably not very many!

Yup,it will be 35 years on January 14,2007! We're going to a resort on St. Thomas to celebrate. I've never been. As a matter of fact I'm just getting started on all of that traveling we've put off all of those early and middle years.

In the last 3 years we've been making up for lost time. I don't plan to slow down anytime soon.

Anyway I feel I'm qualified as an expert in marriage and relationships to give you:

Top 10 ways to keep on growing as a couple

1. Commit and participate in connecting with your heart. Do you know what is in your partner's heart today? Do you know if he or she is happy, worried, joyful or fearful? Establish a routine of heartfelt sharing. Sit facing each other. First one shares and the other listens. No comments, no fixing, just listening, no opinions. Then the other person shares and one listens. Don't hold back, you will establish or increase intimacy.

2. Cherish one another. Be kind, courteous and refuse to take each other for granted.
Pay attention to each other! Love each other too much to get into petty arguments!

3. Tell the truth! Never lie or never hold things back. Love is based on honesty. You may feel like you're getting away with something when you do. You are not! Your fooling yourself. Love is based on being real. Real doesn't feel comfortable all of the time. Get real anyway. Love is based on trust. Once trust is lost it's very difficult to get back.

4. Love begins with you. One moment at a time. Choose to love first. Don't hold back or get even. Put the focus on weather or not your lover's needs are getting met. The amazing thing is your's will get met in return. You will also feel loved.

5. Choose to be first. The first to apologize, the first to kiss, the first to hug.
Be the first to give comfort and offer help. Give up the last cookie and give away the last word. You will "feel" loving and lovable. There will be no need to demand it.

6. Love with your eyes. Practice looking at your mate as you did when you first met. Look for the good in his/her heart and actions. Adore him/her with your eyes. When you are gazing and looking think of all of the good times and fun you've had. You can look into each others eyes but also learn to look from a distance, unnoticed.
You will fall deeper in love.

7. Love with your voice and your words. Pay attention to your intention and your tone when you communicate. Do you want to fight or get your point across seamlessly. You can't take works back so choose them carefully.

Learn to build each other up with your words. Use terms of endearment. If it's uncomfortable for you, practice, practice practice. Your words have power. Use them wisely. Use them lightly and lovingly.

8. Learn how to work and play together. When you love somebody you are in sync with them. Refuse to be a victim (poor me) or feel entitled (you owe me). Don't wait to be rescued and give up blaming. When you can enjoy working and playing together you enjoy each other's company most of the time.

9. Take responsibility. There will be days you have to give 150%. There will be days when tragedy happens and you will need to be strong when it seems utterly impossible to do so.

There will be times you will need to ask for forgiveness and time when you have to forgive when you don't want to.

There will be days when you need to be alone and days when your partner will need the same thing. Respect and trust each other's time and breathing space. You will come back refreshed and you will benefit.

10. When you make love learn to put your body, mind, heart and soul into it. Sex is more than just physical. Pay attention to how you feel. Making love feels joyful not empty. Learn to communicate your sexual needs and desires. Learn to use reverance and sex becomes sacred.

Each step you take in your dance together you will either be moving closer to your partner or further away. Be aware of your choices. Be aware of your heart. Stay connected, stay hopeful and

Happiness is Having Fun and Helping Others As Well

2006-10-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

My daughter Kristy finished her triathlon in October. The amazing thing of the entire event was to see how Kirsty could actually swim in a race for 9/10's of a mile through kelp in the Pacific Ocean. That alone would be enough to impress anyone but she's the physically challenged kid who has a stub for a right hand! Imagine swimming with and pulling with only one hand! I was simply amazed!

Then there was the transition to the special customized bike she had made for her stub. It was here she made up for time she lost in the swim.

Then it was off to the six mile run and finally to the finish line. Yeah!

Oh and did I mention she raised the $5000.00 as part of the "Team In Training"
for the Lukemia and Lymphoma Society! A big thanks to all of my friends and family who helped!

We had ssssooooo much fun! It's always a natural high to get caught up in the excitement and the hoopla of the athlete's.

We had fun eating and sightseeing. We went to Carmel by The Sea and Big Sur. We were'nt ready to come home. After the athletes left the city didn't seem the same.
She is already planning to do another triathlon in March in Florida. I think I'll meet her there!

Question:What are you doing for fun, adventure and exercise these days? Exercise doesn't have to be all work. Think on this and see if you can't get excited about walking, running, hiking, biking or sking. The sky is the limit!
Stay Happy-Tess

I've Got Forgiveness Work To Do!

2006-10-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

When life is going along smoothly and I begin to think I don't have any grievences with anyone I usually get hit over the head with another opportunity to forgive. It's like God is saying to me "Are you sure you have this forgiveness thing down."

A couple of months ago I found out I wasn't invited to a family members wedding. Not only wasn't I not invited but neither were 6 of my siblings or my parents (Only two siblings were).

Of course I told myself "it didn't matter, whatever, I didn't want to go anyway, and now I don't have to buy a gift." It's funny how we want to protect ourselves isn't it?

Just when I convinced myself I was over it I run smack into the family member. Of course my blood was boiling! I had a hard time looking this person in the eye. I gave one word answers to anything I was asked. And I got away as fast as I could.

That was my clue that I had forgiveness work to do.

The reason I didn't get invited doesn't matter. What matters is that I don't take it personally. It's not about me. What people do is about them. How we react is about us.

What matters is that I to come to peace with this issue. What matters is I process my feelings, forgive and move on.

The first thing to remember about forgiveness is that it's a process. When I think I'm over it the issue will pop to the surface again. If I don't feel peaceful when this happens, I'm not over it!

It hurts to keep your heart closed. It hurts to hold onto resentments. It hurts me. Forgiveness is for me not the other person.

So here are some forgiveness tips that work for me:

1. I first need to acknowledge my pain. It's OK to feel hurt. It's not OK to remain hurt.

2. Forgiveness is letting go of the pain. It's a release of any loss, sadness and outrage one has in their situation. It's a release of the past.

3. It's necessary to forgive even the unforgivable. People who suffered through the holocaust have been able to forgive. Nelson Mandela was able to forgive. These are examples of forgiving the unforgivable.

4. Forgiveness doesn't deny what happened. Forgiving isn't forgetting. Forgiveness isn't condoning the past. It acknowledges what happened is wrong and harmful.

5. Forgiveness allows us to protect ourself from the other person. It may be best to end the relationship.

6. Forgiveness means keeping the person in your heart. Even if you end the relationship physically it is necessary to: bless this person and the situation,
pray for this person, and even send love and wish the best for this person.

7. If we are honest with ourselves we can take an inventory of the pain and suffering we ourselves have caused others. It's here we can find compassion for ourselves and others.

"In Jack Kornfield's book, "The Art Of Forgiveness, and Peace," he tells this story:

In the Babemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered.

All work ceases, and every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual.

Then each person in the tribe speaks to the accused, one at a time, each recalling the good things the person in the center of the circle has done in his lifetime.

Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy, is recounted. All his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length.

This tribal ceremony often lasts for several days. At the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe.

So here is my plan.

Tonight when I go to bed I will close my eyes and bring this person who hurt me to mind. I will put myself and the other family memebers in a circle around this person. I can then think of all the good deeds that have been done by this person. I can even imagine what the other siblings and my parents would say.

I will mentally welcome this person back into the tribe!

Who do you need to forgive and how willing are you? I'm here to tell you it's necessary to do the work. But remember it's a process and don't beat yourself up.
Just to the work necessary!

I Make Mountains out of Molehills

2006-09-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

"Tess, this is a small thing in the Big Picture!" - Caty Carlin

Because I'm a passionate person about life when I'm happy I'm real happy and when I'm upset I'm really upset! Thank God I'm open to other peoples input, perspectives and wisdom.

I was ranting and raving about my lastest "inconvenience" in life when my friend Caty basically told me I was making a mountain out of a molehill. Of course she listened to me first. She allowed me to "get it all out!" Then came her wisdom and perspective. She always says just the right thing.

That's why I call friends when I'm upset. They help me process my issues. Think about your biggest worry today. It could be a number of things...maybe job insecurity, a unhealed relationship, your child might be in trouble or you might have "stuck your foot in your mouth."

It's OK to be upset about these things. It's normal to even worry. Everybody does.
What's not good is overreacting. What's not good is obsessing. What's not good is choosing not to reach out. What's not good is forgetting the big picture.

I remember the time when I first went into private practice and was worried about not having enough clients. My friend Marsha (also in private practice at the time) shared with me that when she finds herself worrying about not enough work she reminds herself that her basic needs are met. She reminds herself of her strengths, of her relationships, and everything else that is good in her life.

After phoning Caty this morning that's exactly what I did. I reminded myself about what was good in my life. I wrote in my gratitude journal. I called the prayer line and asked for prayers for myself and the other person involved. And I remembered the big picture.

What is your problem today? Where does it fit in the big picture? You get to decide. Don't let fear block your big picture. That's what it's all about. Fear. Fear. Fear.

There are 3 major fears we all have: I am not enough. I don't do enough. I don't have enough.

What fear doesn't fit under one of these?

When fear comes up, when you are tempted to make a mountain out of a molehill remind yourself: I am enough. I do enough. I have enough.

On the other hand if your problem is significant such as a job loss, a death in the family or a serious illness then take action. Reach out. Call a friend.

Life is too short to go it alone. I care. People care. Allow someone to help you gain a new perspective or comfort you in your pain. That's what we are here for...to make life easier for each other!

Oh and by the way if you want to check out my friend Caty you can find her at www.Theaterofthesoul.com and www.Ashvilleloghome.org.

If You Had 3 Weeks To Live...

2006-08-24T06:16:00.000-07:00

Flying By The Seat Of My Soul

"Each day is a new opportunity. Yesterday is gone
and today is the first day of your future!"

We often live like we have forever and put off things
we need to do for another day. If you have regrets or are
holding on to resentments let them go. Today is a good
day to begin again! Ask yourself if you had 3 weeks to
live what would you do differently today?

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I wouldn't take life so seriously. I would visit my adult children, their spouses and boyfriends. I would look in their eyes and tell them I loved them and I appreciate
who they are and everything they've done with their lives.I would tell them everything I never have but wished I did. I'd encourage them to lighten up and smile more. I would remind them that we are on earth only to learn how to love each other and don't ever forget that. I would ask them for forgiveness and to remember only the good times and me.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would take my
grandchildren to the beach and run free in the water
and play in the sand. We would eat desert first, tell
each other secrets, giggle and laugh. We would pick
flowers and wild raspberries along the rollerblade path. I would read them stories and scoop out their favorite ice cream. I would cover them with all the hugs and kisses they would allow. I would tell them how beautiful they are and to always put God and people first and money, things and appearances last.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would visit my
parents and thank them for giving me life. I would tell them good-bye and reminisce about the good times and happy times of the past. I would linger and look one more time at the arms that held me and feet that carried me. I would blow kisses on the way out the door.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would enjoy every moment and savor the sounds of the birds and the taste the sweetness of red ripe watermelon. I would turn off the TV and would spend more time outside in the evening watching fire flies dance and wait for the stars to come out. I would watch the moon glow and the sun rise.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would lighten my load, get rid of the junk in my attic, basement and garage. I would give away what I didn't need light candles, play soft music and dance.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would rent a house on the ocean. I would invite everyone of my friends to come and share in one last laugh fest. I would invite my favorite musician and the best caterer in town. We would wear long sleeveless dresses and nothing on our feet and let the good times roll. We would stay up and talk all night and write messages in a bottle for someone else to find someday so they could know just how good life is when you are surrounded by you love and people who love you.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would cancel
the newspaper and turn off the news. I would savor the
birds singing at dawn and cook breakfast outside. I
would eat waffles with syrup and strawberries
and whipped cream on my best china. I would
drink hazlenut coffee in a lawn chair and let the
grass tickle my feet.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would visit the farm I grew up on with my sisters. We would swim in the pond one more time, lay under the big oak tree look up at the sky and watch the clouds go by. We would do crafts, chase our shadows in the sun, race tractors and breathe in fresh air.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would look into my husband's eyes more and appreciate him until I burst. We would make more love, hold each other longer and I would always be the last one to let go of a hug or a kiss. We would look at old photographs and cry and laugh about difficult times when thought we wouldn't make it.

If I knew I had only 3 weeks to live I would golf when he wanted to and go to more sporting events and pretend to understand what’s going on even when I didn't. I would only care about watching him enjoy himself. I would put him first more often and myself last. For the entire 3 weeks I wouldn't let him out of my site. I would take every mean and cruel thing I ever said or did back.I would thank him for being the miracle he is.

If you knew you had only 3 weeks to live what would you do? I'd be interested in knowing that. Because whatever it is wewould do is what we need to be doing now. When will you begin? There is no better moment than the present!

_______________________________________________________
If you decide what it is you would do email it to me and TessMarshall&TessMarshall.com and I will post it on my blog!
Stay Happy!
Tess Marshall
www.TessMarshall.com
TessMarshall@TessMarshall.com

Life Is Short, Are You Having Fun Yet?

2006-08-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

How many times have you said: Someday I will....

Are there things you have always dreamed of doing but put off for sometime in the future. Are there destinations of travel you have dreamed about but have never taken the trip?

Have you told yourself, "When I have more time, money, or when the kids are older I will _____________ (fill in the blank)?

"If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved."
- Maurice Chavalier

I want you to write down all of the things you can think of that you absolutely must do before you die. If you want to buy your first convertible write it down. If you want to go to Paris write that down as well. Have you camped under the stars or attended an opera?

What new things would you like to experience?

How many times have you said:

I'm going to write a book.

I'm going to take a photography class.

I'm going to hike the Grand Canyon.

I'm going to take the kids to a major league ball game.

I'm going to take the kids to Disneyland.

I'm going to learn to rock climb.

I'm going to go to New York to see a Broadway show.

I'm going to spend more time with__________.

I'm going to save more money so I can_____________.

Why do you continue to fail to do something you really want to do? Any answer you can come up with is most likely just an excuse. It's probably fear rearing its ugly head.

So ask yourself, "If you weren't afraid what would you do? If you had no fear where would you go?" Learn to tell your fear that you're busy and you'll get back to it later!"

"Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow." Horace

Is there a concert you want to see? If you haven't previously seen "The Beatles" in concert it's too late but you still have time to see Paul McCartney. If you haven't seen Lance Armstrong, in Tour de France it's too late but you can still take a trip through the vineyards in California.

Oprah Winfrey is a household name. Do you want to visit the Oprah Show but have never bothered to get a ticket? There is still time. Don't wait until she retires.

You can still start that new business, take a cruise ship to Alaska, buy new dancing shoes, or learn to play a musical instrument.

It's too late to see Tiger Woods play golf. If you've never seen Wayne Gretsky play hockey, you never will. If you've never seen Mohammad Ali "sting like a butterfly and float like a bee" it's no longer an option.

There is still time to see Sting in concert. You will always have the opportunity to volunteer for The Red Cross. You can fly to Scotland and play golf at St. Andrews.

If you've never seen Ray Charles sing you can only listen to a recording. You can't see Dale Earnhardt at a NASCAR race. You can't see Larry Bird play basketball during a Celtics game or Magic Johnson play for the Los Angeles Lakers. Never again can you see Payne Steward swing a golf club.

But you can watch Jimmy Buffet sing. What that man has done with one guitar and his voice is amazing. There is still time to see Dale Earnart (Junior) at the racetrack. It's not to late to see the Rolling Stones in concert. Take a camera to the Grand Tetons in Jackson Hole, Wyoming or head off to Africa on a safari of a lifetime.

"Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved." D.H. Lawrence

You think you're too busy. You have too much work to do. You have too much debt. The kids are too old or not old enough. These are excuses. Excuses are choices.

It's your choice. You only have one life to live. Decide not too waste it on worry and anxiety. The sky is the limit. Don't delay what you would love to do today. There is no dress rehearsal for life. You won't regret it. This is it!

12-step groups have a saying, "Nothing changes until something changes." The following ideas will help you get the ball rolling!"

After writing down 100 things you want to do, be and have make a goal to achieve two every month for the next year. Even if you accomplish one you are still further ahead.

Sign up for voice lessons or buy a plane ticket to your favorite vacation destination. When you can cross off twenty-four things on your list in one year you know you are in the groove and living life to the fullest.

As you continue with your list notice how some things will come to you without you ever trying. They will happen naturally. Once you begin to live life like it will never end more and more opportunities will come your way.

Eventually you will have to make a new list as you discover there are endless choices of adventure and fun waiting for you to breathe life into them. This is how to live with passion.

Make your life about experiencing it all. It's your turn! You have waited long enough! You have wasted too much time. Learn to have fun, live life to the fullest and don't ever stop!

I wrote previously about my daughter Kristy doing her first triathlon in Monterrey California for the Lymphoma and Luekemia Society. She has collected $5,000 worth of donations for her cause.

The more I thought about her doing such a courageous thing the more I knew I wanted to go see the event. So we booked a flight last week and are going to see our daughter swim-bike-run in a race that will bring hope to children with a terminal illness and their parents.

A couple of weekends ago immediately after rollerblading with my daughter Roshelle and grandchildren I talked them into renting a canoe. We tipped the canoe, the water was deeper and swifter than we realized. After 3 attempts we finally uprighted it and emptied the water.

At the end of the day Shelly said to me, "Mom you're a 52 year old trapped in a 30 year old body!" She was referring to my enery, enthusiasm and adventureous personality. I thought about that a minute, laughed and said,"I think you're right about that!"

So I will end with a final quote that sums up my plan for the 2nd half of my life.

"One of the final challenges for human beings is to get old with as
much verve and gumption as possible." Alison Judson Ryerson

My Other Website

2006-07-21T12:13:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to tell you about my other website. If you know somebody who is struggling with a porn/sex addiction, send them to KickPorn.com.

We Get Along With A Little Help From Our Friends

2006-07-19T05:07:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs a little help at times and at other times we may need major help. Imagine if you had a small child with a terminal illness? It would consume you. You would trade places with your child if you could. You would climb the highest mountain and swim the widest sea to save your child.

My daughter Kristy is currently helping a 4 year old child Gracie. She is participating in a triathlon, being sponsered by the Lukemia and Lymphoma Society.
The money she raises will go towards blood research. Kristy is soooooo excited about doing this. Kristy was born with a very deformed right hand. She can't use it to pick up or hold anything.

She has always been a runner and has participated in marathons. For this event she is taking swimming lessons and bought a custom made bike to fit her stub. Imagine swimming in the water with hundreds of others in a race. Imagine not only riding a bike but racing against participants with two hands.

Kristy lives in Atlanta. I haven't seen her new bike and I haven't seen her new swimming skills. It doesn't matter. What I can see is her success, her compassion and her pride. I see her making a difference in a world that seems cold and uncaring. I see her helping parents that live day to day in fear of losing their child.

You can help too. If you find it in your heart to donate please go to http://tinyurl.com/fe2dp. You will find a picture and story about Gracie and the event.

Remember we get a long with a little help from our friends!

Stay happy! Tess

What would it take for you to be happy?

2006-07-07T08:56:00.000-07:00

Do you want to lose 10 lbs? Get a new job? Want to buy a new car or vacation home? These are external changes. They offer temporary happiness or a shot of bliss that will eventually fade. These external things won't work for long-term happiness.

Long term happiness comes from within. Your everyday attitude or mind-set
of appreciation, gratitude and contentment is what counts in the long run.

Each day we can find small miracles to celebrate or we can be focused on what others have that we don't have. Which one do you thing will determine your happiness in life.

If you want to be happier ask yourself, "What are my needs and values?"
Do I need a Saturday afternoon nap? Do I want to move to a warmer climate when I retire? Do I want to spend at least one evening a week with girlfiends? Is it important for me to volunteer?

You decide what's important to you. You decide weather or not to take action on these things. You have the power to make yourself happy.

Don't compromise your needs for others. If you have been in a book club for 5 years and want to move on-do it. If you don't feel like cleaning your house. Hire someone to do it. You're in charge of your day and the choices you make.

If you don't take charge of your life you will feel cheated and unfairly treated. When you can give yourself permission to take charge you will have a positive attitude with invigorated energy.

You can learn to embrace life and the things that happen to you. Life is difficult and we all suffer tragedy. People who are close to us get sick, injured and die. It's a part of life. In good times and bad ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"

A study was done at the University of Massachusetts that found accident victims who had become suddenly paralyzed were more hopeful about the future than lottery winners! Can you believe that! Do you think the people in involved in the accidents took time to rethink their lives and what gives life meaning?

Take time this summer to do fun things. Think about what makes you happy, what you can't do without and what you won't compromise. Remember you're in charge of your happiness. Everyone else is responsible for their own.

Pure Joy!

2006-06-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

I never knew grandparents so the best thing about these times is I know we are making memories. I know what we say and do will have a strong influence on them.
The thing about being a grandparent is the love is so unconditional, it's our only job.

I spent my first week with my granddaughter Mackenzie this summer. Because Mac is from Waterford she doesn't have friends in the neighborhood to play with so I signed her up for golf lessons. We gifted her with clubs for her birthday in April.

It turned out her teacher Lisa was her mom's highschool basketball coach. Small world. It was pure joy to watch her pony tail swinging as she carried her clubs to join a group she was unfamiliar with. How fast she has grown!

It seems like yesterday I was splashing with her in the plastic backyard pool. And it seems like yesterday when she was young enough to sit on my lap or hold my hand. It seems like yesterday I helped her mom teach her how to ride her bike.

It was pure joy to see her smiling face each morning at the breakfrast table. One day we made a cake for a friend of her mom's. Cooking and baking isn't my "thing."
I couldn't find our cake pan anywhere! She told me, "Nana you need pampered chef!" "I need more than pampered chef!" I answered.

I made a quick dash to the store to purchase a new pan. She watched TV while the cake baked and tested it once to see if it was done. It wasn't so after a few more minutes I tested it again and the door slammed shut! I haven't baked a cake in years let alone "flop" one. She couldn't believe the big hole in the middle of the cake! She laughed and laughed. "Oh Nana!" she said.

That afternoon we decided to ride bikes. She hopped on mine while I struggled to push the seat down on Pops bike. With the seat down all the way my feet still wouldn't touch the ground but I didn't have a choice. Mac told me to begin riding standing up and push off then sit down. Which I did and only fell twice!

Then there were the little everyday things that she noticed and kept track of over the course of the week. A stone left a crack across my car windsheild. I dropped my cell phone and it cracked as well. I lost my house key and had to get a new one made. Then I realized I lost my driver's lisence. Pops figured I never put it back in my wallet after taking it out at the airport when traveling the week before. I'm ADHD, did you notice?!

Jeez, Nana! She rattled off the litany of events all in one sentence! I said, "Now when you get home don't tell your mom and dad these things. Only tell them the wonderful things. Like when Lisa the golf coach said, "Oh I know you-I read your book! Again she laughed and I smiled knowing her parents would get a blow by blow of everything.

Her mom is "Susie Homemaker," the opposite of me. I knew she would take the "flopped cake" story home as well.

It was pure joy for "Pops" to take her to the movies twice that week. It was pure joy for both of us to be with her five days in a row. She brought a youthful playful energy into our home that has been absent since her mom and aunts left home.

It was pure joy to see the similarities between her and my daughter. It was pure joy to have her ask, "Can I buy something for my brother?" (while at the mall shopping for a jean skirt)

She's gone now. I'm storing enery for the final week of July. This time she'll attend basketball camp at Aquinas college. I'm ready for her. My windsheild and cell phone and drivers license have been replaced.

And our home will be ready for the youthful energy and love. Pure joy-that's what granddaughters and summers are for!

Flying By The Seat Of My Soul

2006-06-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

Flying By The Seat Of My Soul

A Tomatoe Plant and Pink Geranium

My parents are in their late eithties. It's a struggle to watch them grow old. It's sad to see them experience so many physical losses. I love my parents. I appreciate them and long ago I forgave them.

But this doens't make the visits easy. I usually have to talk myself into going. I make it as fun and interesting as I can for both them and me. I long for the days when they could go out to dinner on a moments notice or go to the movies and actually see the big screen. I long for the days when their health, doctors visits and aches and pains weren't the topic of our conversations.

Now they wait patiently for Roger and I to visit. We call in advance and when we arrive my mom will have her Sunday clothes on usually be in her wheelchair waiting for us at the table watching my dad sorting his endless bottles of prescrption medicine. Waiting...waiting... patiently waiting for me to come with stories about my work, my road runs, what I made for dinner and what I watched on TV. Ordinary everyday stories about ordinary everyday events that's music to their ears.

They want to hear what's new with my children and my grandchildren. Have I seen them lately? How are their jobs going? When are they coming to visit next? Does Mackenzie still play the violin? Is AJ in drama classes yet? Normal everyday stories they only experience vicariously through me and my visits.

My parents hang onto my every word, savoring them slowly as if to make these magical moments last longer. Our stories become their daily news they can now pass on to my sisteres and brothers when they call or visit.

My visits are a connection to an outside active life they no longer have access too. Aging and physical limitations have stole that from them. They will never get it back.

Because we live only 45 minutes away we visit them once a week unless we are out of town. We usually go either Friday night or Saturday afternoon.

Living on a farm for most of their lives they have a love for gardening and nature. My mom asked me to bring her a pink geranium before my last visit.

Roger and I stopped at the Farmer's Market on our way out of town. I couldn't help but buy everything I saw that reminded me of their healthier and younger days gone by.

Our first purchase was mom's pink geranium. But then I saw three pink peonies and purchased a bunch of them as well. My mom loved flowers and always had time for her flower garden in spite of 12 hour days in the fields planting and harvesting vegtables. I remember when my brothers Stan and Chet graduated from high school she picked and pinned a couple of the old fashioned roses from her garden onto their lapels. I think of that day on my daily runs each time I pass old fashioned roses in someone's garden.

We saw patio tomatoe plants and we bought one of those for my dad. We grew tomatoes on the farm and sold tons of them at the farmer's market from July through October. As a kid I became familiar with names like, "early girls, big boys, jet start, and fireballs." We sold them by the pound, 1/2 peck, whole peck, and bushel baskets. We ate them for breakfrast, in the field right off the vine, on our bologna sandwiches for lunch, in goulash for dinner and canned them for winter months. I think my dad was prouder of his tomatoes than his sweetest watermelon or largest prize pumpkin. My dad had a love affair with his tomatoes.

I also bought a homemade raspberry pie that made me drool all the way to Spring Lake. My mom always loved to bake. Because we burned so many calories working on the farm we basically ate whatever we wanted and whenever we wanted. We used to sit by the oven waiting for her cakes and pies to finish baking. They barely had time to cool when we relentlessly begged for permission to cut into them.

My sister Helen's birthday was July 14 and that was the week the raspberries were in their prime on the farm. We ate them by the handfuls as we filled pint after pint for the market. We also would make raspberry jam, pies and milkshakes with my mom. We ate them at the farmers market quickly popping one or two in our mouth as we displayed them at our booth.

Mom and dad were thrilled with their gifts from the farmer's market. We cut the pie in large pieces and sat on their patio reminicing about the good old days. My dad immediately watered his tomatoe and noticed it was "a healthy one."

My mom asked if I would bake brownies for my nephew Josh. It was his birthday and he'd be over that evening for dinner.

While we were there my sister Barb and her friend Greg stopped over and brought news of my nephew Matt's graduation from Saint Louis University the weekend before.

In spite of feeling ambivalent about visiting I always feel wonderful and happy when we leave. I have a feeling my mom and dad do as well. They will watch the tomatoe plant and pink geranium grow all summer and relive the day of our visit over and over in their mind. They will smile and wait...and wait...and look forward to our next visit.

Family Matters!

2006-05-31T04:14:00.000-07:00

What are your values? What is important to you? It is easy to say that family matters but how much time and energy do you put into your family relationships?

My granddaughter turned twelve April 16. She is too old for day care and too young to be left alone all day while her parents are at work this summer. My daughter called and asked me if she could spend some time with me. We live two hours away so time means day and night.

My first thoughts werer about how much work I have to do. My second reaction was she can come for three weeks! I've signed her up for morning golf lessons one week. Another week she'll be attending basketball camp during the day. The third week she'll have my undivided attention.

Family is important to me. My granddaughter is one of my favorite people in the world. I love everything about her. I'm willing to give her my time and energy. Work will always be here.

Summer time means fun. We will go rollerblading, biking and to the beach. We'll visit her great grandparents and walk to the library. We'll draw and paint and have a garage sale. We'll make memories that will last a life time. And to think I almost said, "no I have too much work to do."

Ain't No Mountain High Enough

2006-05-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

There is a famous runner called "Penguin" that has a regular column in Runners World Magazine. He is a runner that always finishes at the back of the pack. He claims he waddles.

The point is he runs road races knowing he will never win. He runs because he loves the sport.

I love the quote he is famous for, " The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."

Where in your life can you apply that quote? As for myself I'm participating in the Fifth Third River Bank Run. It's a 25K or 15 and 1/2 miles.

My daughter is flying in from Atlanta to run it with me. Our plan? Fun!
Because I'm not a treadmill kind of person I've been running outside in our lovely Michigan winter weather since January. I've ran in blizzards, freezing rain, and on the dark and dreary days.

I've ran when I didn't feel like it. I ran when I was sick and tired of running.

Inbetween the difficult days I also ran when the sun was shining. I ran when others were sleeping and outdoors it was calm and beautiful. I ran to feel good, to feel fit and to feel proud running these miles at age fifty-two.

I've been a runner since I quit smoking in my twenties. I love running. (Just not traing for long runs!)

The big day is coming up in two weeks. I am excited because I'm on the home stretch.
I can't wait until race day.

Now all the hard work pays off. Like the penguin the miracle won't be that I crossed the finish line. The miracle will be that I had the courage to begin this past January~

Spiritual Growth

2006-04-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

I believe we have the opportunity to grow spiritually everday. Any ordinary experience can be a spiritual experience if you make it so.

I was blessed by having my two grandchildren for a couple of days on their spring break. AJ is nine and Mackenzie is twelve. I knew it would require a lot of entertainment. Doesn't everyone want to have fun on break?

Here's where the spirituality comes in. Patience has always been a struggle for me. Knowing this I prepared myself in advance by reminding myself to stay in the present moment as much as I could.

They got new rollerblades for their birthdays this spring. They couldn't wait to try them out. So we found an empty parking lot and spent a lot of time going in circles and practicing how to stop. It was fun because I was patient! They were on their own after three practices. Mac was so proud!

I bought them paint-by-number kits thinking this will keep them quiet. Only to open the kits and find the colors of the paints needed to be constantly combined to create new colors. Again I practiced my patience!

AJ has studied the Ididarod at school for the past two months. We found a farm in the country where huskies are boarded, breeded and trained for this race. I'm not into dogs. But I took them to the farm anyway. The trip was pure joy. I can say I'm into huskies now!

They left for home yesterday and my house is a mess, the dishes are in the sink and the refrigerator is empty. But my heart is happy, they are overjoyed and the memories are priceless.

Never Put Your Dreams On Hold

2006-04-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

"One of the final challenges for human beings is to get old with
as much nerve and gumption as possible." --A. Judson Ryerson

I am writing new book and I wanted to give you a peek at it:

How many times have you said, someday:

Are there things you have always dreamed of doing but put off
for sometime in the future. Are there destinations of travel you
have dreamed about but have never taken the trip? Have you
told yourself, "When I have more time, money, or when the kids
are older I will _________?

I want you to write down 100 things you want to be, see and do
in your lifetime. Yes one hundred things. If you want to buy your
first convertible write it down. If youwant to go to Paris write that
down as well. Have you camped under the stars or attended an
opera? What new things would you like to experience? To get
you started read the following list. How many times have you
said, someday:

I'm going to take a photography class.

I'm going to the Grand Canyon.

I'm going to write a book.

I'm going to take the kids to a major league ball game.

I'm going to take the kids to Disneyland?

I'm going to learn to rock climb.

I'm going to New York to attend a broadway show.

Why do you continue to fail to do something you really want to do?
Any answer you can come up with is most likely an excuse.

Is there a concert you want to see? If you haven't previously seen
"The Beatles" in concert it's too late but you still have time to see
Paul McCartney. If you haven't seen Lance Armstrong in a Tour de
France 2005 is your last chance.

Oprah Winfrey is a household name. Do you want to visit her show.
Buy a ticket. Don't wait until she retires.

You can still start that new business, take a cruise ship to Alaska,
buy new dancing shoes, or learn to play a musical instrument.

It's too late to see Peter Sampros play tennis. If you've never seen
Wayne Gretsky play hockey, you never will. If you've never seen
Mohamad Ali "float like a butterfly and sting like a bee" it's no
longer an option.

There is still time to see Sting in concert. You will always have the
opportuity to volunteer for The Red Cross. You can fly to Scotland
to play golf at St. Andrews.

If you've never seen Ray Charles sing you can only listen to a
recording. You can't see Dale Earnhart at a Nascar race. But you
can still see Junior. You can't see Larry Bird play basketball
during a Celtics game or Magic Johnson play for the Los Angeles
Lakers. Never again can you see Payne Steward swing a golf club.

But you can see Tiger Woods play golf. It's not to late to see The
Rolling Stones. There's time to go to the Tetons in Jackson Hole,
Wyoming or head off to Africa on a safari of a life time.

You think you're too busy. You have too much work to do. You
have too much debt. The kids are too old or not old enough.
These are excuses. It's your choice. You only have one life to
live. This is it! One life! Do it, you won't regret it.

Flying By The Seat Of My Soul

2006-04-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

Flying By The Seat Of My Soul

Time for Spring Heart Cleaning

2006-03-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

It's customary to do spring cleaning in your home. How would your life change if you also did some inner spring cleaning?

Do you have anyone you need to forgive? Who has hurt you in the past? What baggage do you want to drop in order to have more fun? See this person with a smile on their face. Say a silent prayer for both of you. Remember forgiveness is for you not the other person. They might not even know you are carrying a grudge.

Who do you need to get in touch with? A quick hello and how are you is all it takes to reconnect with a friend you've neglected. Buy a few post cards and snail mail them. It takes time and effort that won't go unnoticed.

In what ways do you withhold love from yourself? You may punish yourself by overeating, shopping for things you don't need or too much television. Set aside a couple of hours every week for pampering. Get a manicure or masage. Buy yourself some flowers or take a walk outdoors. You are deserving of the best care. You're responsible for giving it to yourself.

Look for Love Today

2006-03-10T05:46:00.000-08:00

Being bombarded with bad news about the war, the economy and our seemingly lack of values by the media can leave one feeling hopeless and discouraged. Therefore I encourage everyone to keep their eyes open for signs of love in the world.

Every day people like you and me do and see loving things. It just never makes the news! So look for love in the world today. Notice when you see someone doing good. It can be as small as someone holding the door open for you or as big as someone helping a neighbor put a roof on their home.

We get what we look for so look for love. Look for love in a smile, look for love in the grocery store, look for love in crowded places and look for love in family faces.
It is there and it's about time we take notice and talk about it. It will help balance the negativity in the world! So look for love in the world today!

Don't Let Anyone Steal Your Joy!

2006-03-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

Have you given anyone the power to upset you today? Who pushes your buttons? Who are you with when you want the last word? Are you brave enough to walk away from conflict? Do you rerun a conversation over and over in your head defending yourself?

If you allow others to control your emotions you also allow them to take your joy.
If you decide to be happy you are also joyous. My mother used to call me a "kill joy" when I wanted to rain on someone else's parade.

I bought a joy journal a couple of months ago. I fill it with joyful memories. My joy is priceless. I won't let anyone kill it or steal it.

Common ways allow to others steal our joy:
Bad moods
Accusations
Gossip
Control
Jealousy
Withholding love
Lack of follow through.
Carless driving
The price of gas
Being Demanding

The next time you find yourself reacting to someone or something negative don't allow them to take your joy. Be strong. Stay happy. Life is to short for anything else.

Fearless Living: Let Your Soul Soar

2006-03-03T05:51:00.000-08:00

It's more tempting than ever to fall into fear these days. In fact you need to be vigilant with your thoughts, recognizing when they are fearful and stop them immediately.
One step you can take is identify your current fears. List them one through ten. Then write down the worst thing that could happen if the fear came true.
Let's say you fear you may lose your job. The worst thing that could happen is things may be a little tight financially until you found another job.

You could reverse the fear and tell yourself, "If I lost my job I would be free to begin again in something completely new."

Other steps that help with fearless living:

When you are afraid stop, reflect, and get quiet with a journal. Breathe. Write down some solutions, answers and affirmations.

Pray and re-center yourself as needed.

Ask others for support. Make a list of people who are on your side. Put your list where you can see it regularly. Know these people wouldn't let you down if you really needed them.
Remember God is at work in the middle of your difficulties.

Continue to take positive action. Take care of yourself and nurture youself.

Love is all there is!

2006-02-14T05:40:00.001-08:00

"If I can stop one heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one life the aching
Or cool one pain

Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain." -Emily Dickinson

Today is the perfect day to tell someone you love and care about them. Where have you withheld love and with whom? If you want to grow more love in your heart I invite you to do the following:

1. Begin by seeing this person with a smile on their face.

2. Repeat silently: "I bless you, I release you, I set you free. I allow you to be you and me to be me."

3. Practice forgiving past hurts and healing old wounds. Life is to short to withhold love.

In relationships a little effort goes a long way. Stay connected, cherish, nurture and honor the special people in your life. Learn to extend your love to those who challenge you. They are in your life to teach you how to love without conditions.

The love you give away multiplies and then comes back to you.

Stay happy!

A Life Changing Experience

2006-01-30T11:44:00.000-08:00

Words can't express my experience volunteering in Ocean Springs and Biloxi Mississippi. I have never volunteered in a disaster relief before and had no idea what to expect.

The experience was overwhelming in many ways. I saw mile after mile of destruction and scattered belongings that represented broken hearts, broken lives and broken dreams. Homes, boats and cars were smashed, strewn all over or completely gone. Churches, casinos, restaurants, and other businesses were demolished or left standing with no windows or busted windows. Without walls or with walls with gaping holes.

There was plastic, clothing and garbage hanging anywhere from five to forty feet high in trees. A casino brage 4 stories high was blown over the road and rested on top of a hotel. What you see on television or in Time magazine doesn't do it justice. My personal experience is beyond the words I share with you. I can't put into words the sights, smells, feelings and tears I've experienced. I can't put into words the hope, courage, and giving I've witnessed.

It was an honor to be able to give my time and energy to help clean up and rebuild. It was an honor to witness the selflessness and commitment of the other volunteers that come and go daily from all over the United States.
Everyday our group was asigned a new home or yard to clean out. We were told to bring a wonder bar and a hammer. Also it was necessary to wear long sleeved shirts, jeans, work boots and a hat. When tearing down dry wall and insulation and spraying for mold it was also necessary to wear masks and goggles. The home owners were bursting with joy when we finished and often had tears of gratitude streaming down their cheeks.

We also had the opportunity to work at the church's distribution center located in a warehouse. Survivors and residents could get food, supplies, personal items, and clothes at no cost. Modeled after a fast food drive through cars would line up along the side of the building and tell the greeters what they needed. The greeters in turn gave the orders to the runners to fill and load into the cars. The center is open from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. and would be busy all day long.

Working as a greeter at the center gave me an opportunity to talk personally with the actual residents. Their stories were atrocious. And yet they had hope, faith and the desire to push on. I don't know if I could be that brave if I were in their position. They are truly amazing people!

The rewarding part of the trip was witnessing the human spirit and the resiliency of the people living in this area. They have been hit by the largest natural disaster in our nation's history, they have lost their homes, jobs, members of their family and friends. Back home I will go back to normalcy. They have a new normal. And in spite it all they are grateful for the help they have received, hopeful of the future and happy to be alive.

Happy Friday

2006-01-20T11:28:00.000-08:00

I will leave Sunday the 22nd for Biloxi, Mississippi where I am volunteering until Jan. 31.
A group of volunteers and I will be deconstructing homes, tearing down drywall and tiles floors. The homes will then be bleached for mold before reconstruction begins.

We will work 8-12 hour days, eat 3 meals a day and sleep on cots that a church there provides.
I bought a pair of work boots and will get my tetnus shot this afternoon.. I am excited to be a part of the many volunteers that have so freely given.

I am looking forward to letting everyone know how it goes and plan on coming home with a deeper level of appreciation for everything I own and my friends, family and clients.

This weekend do something for someone who can't repay you. It can be as small as a smile or as big as a donation to a cause. It will come back to you tenfold!